A change of mind

Kate: thank you, Kilian

Kilian: for?

Kate was confused, this wasn’t the talkative Kilian she knew.

Kate: for removing the case and defending me in court.

Kilian: hmmm… I did what was right.

Kate held his hands, she missed the spark, laughs and chemistry between them.

Kate: are we ok?

Kate meant them, what was happening.

Kilian: what do you think?

Kate immediately let his hands go and looked down, a tear ran down her left eye. Kilian pulled his chair closer and held her hands together.

Kate: Do you still love me, Kilian, you are changed, I just don’t know what else to think.

Kilian rubbed her tears away.

Kilian: I still love you, Kate.

Kate: but what’s wrong? Wait, do you think I’m a murderer?

Kilian looked at her and then put his face away.

“Kilian!” Kate called him.

“I don’t, you aren’t a murderer,” he said as he stood up looking at the sky.

“Then what?” She stood up, pulled him by the shoulder and looked directly in his eyes. Kilian closed his eyes, took a deep breath and made her sit, he squatted between her legs and asked her.

“How did you react when you found out your ex was a cheat?”

Kate didn’t know why he was asking her all this.

“Come on, why talk about him now?” She tried to dodge his question.

“I need an answer, let’s talk this out, please” he begged.

“I just cried and let it go” she replied.

“Didn’t you fight? Or like you slapped him?” Kilian asked curiously.

“We ended everything via phone, it wasn’t physical,” she said and still was naive, wondering why they had to talk about Jeff.

“Ok! Now I understand.” Kilian said.

“Why are you asking me all this?” She asked again.

“I just want to know you better,” Kilian said drying away tears from Kate’s eyes.

“Know me?” She exclaimed.

“Yeah…all along I thought we were fine and a perfect couple, but I guess I didn’t know you well,” he said as he sat on a chair.

“Kilian, are you…..? Are following your dad’s wish? Kate asked realizing Kilian’s heart had changed.

“Nooo… I love you and no one decides who I love” he replied with emphasis.

“This is hard for me” Kate replied staring at the sky.

“Me too, I don’t know what to do, Kate all along you doubted me?” He finally opened up, Kate was silent.

“Susan just set me up, but still you acted like you didn’t know who Kilian was, it hurt me and it still hurts” he added on, his voice had lowered, he spoke with a lot of emotions.

“Kilian! I never doubted you, but when I saw her half-naked, a bra and knicker in your bed, I thought….” Kate said but Kilian cut in.

“A cheater, right?” He completed her sentence.

“No… I was just jealous and shocked, try to understand me” she replied.

Kilian took his time, he was silent.

“Fine, I understand, but do you know what hurt me most?” He asked her.

“No… Tell me” Kate couldn’t wait for the answer.

“I struggled, I was weak and intoxicated, cars would have knocked me down, but I came to you, I knew you would just look in my eyes and see the truth, I tried to explain but you didn’t even listen for a moment, you just pushed me away, Kate you would have at least listened, I wouldn’t have followed you if I had chosen Susan over you” Kilian poured his heart out.

“I was hurt and jealous, I love you deeply, I was… “Kate tried to explain but she didn’t even know which words to use.

“I still understand that Kate, but there’s one thing I can’t understand when the vessel hit me and Susan came in, you left me there in pain, in a pool of blood and went to fight her, did you even care? Did you think of what I was going through?” Kilian asked her with bitterness.

Kate looked at him in disbelief.

“Kilian, what are you trying to mean? She called the police instead of the ambulance? What did you expect me to do?” She asked him.

“To call for help elsewhere! The other students at the hostel” Kilian added on.

It wasn’t a conversation any more, it was a quarrel.

“You were not sober! You don’t know what I went through” Kate shouted back.

“I was told you even fought at the police, with Susan” Kilian added on.

“You know what? This isn’t you, the Kilian I fell in love with, the understanding man who listened and understood me” Kate opened up, things were getting worse.

“And you? Where’s the Kate, I almost knocked down, I splashed dirty water to, she controlled her anger, she didn’t fight me, she even listened, and forgave me fast. Where’s she?” He shook her as if to wake up from a dream.

“That was different, you don’t know how it hurts to be disappointed, we were to go for a family dinner, I was excited, and all of a sudden Susan tricked us”

The quarrel went on, it was deep, they both had reasons but they failed to understand each other.

“This is a small issue, can’t we just forget it, and get back to normal?” Kate tried to make things straight.

“It’s not a small thing as you think, how can my family accept you now?” Kilian roared back.

“You know what? I love you, you love me, that’s not enough, this relationship lacks understanding and trust” Kilian told her the truth.

“So you are breaking up with me?” Kate asked him, she closed her eyes and waited for his reply.

“No… We are not, let’s forget the perfect Kilian and perfect Kate, we have a weakness, let’s sort them out” Kilian told her.

“How?” She asked him shaking.

“Lets….give each other space, to let things settle, for my dad to relax, for Susan to give up, for us to understand ourselves better” Kilian tearfully told her.

Kate just ran away, she had prayed for him to wake up, for her to rekindle their love. But he had changed a lot, was he breaking up with her in a better polite way. She ran off, just as far as her legs could.

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