a taste of freedom

Leaving court free gave Kate the best moment ever, surrounded by her mum, her best friend, the best lawyers and Ella. It was too much, she couldn’t stop thanking God.

She planned to go visit Kilian the next day.

“I was such a fool to doubt him, my man never cheated” she blamed herself.

“Relax my daughter, let’s pray he recovers soon” her mum encouraged her.

“Mum, I’m scared, he’s taking long, it’s now a month, what if he…” Kate cried as she swallowed hard not to say the last words.

“He will be ok,” the old lady told her as she dried away tears in Kate’s eyes.

Kate’s mind wandered the entire night, would Kilian’s family accept him after all this? What if Kilian lost his memory? What if the court finds her guilty? It was a lot, she failed to sleep. She was out of the physical prison, but her heart and mind were locked up in a prison of depression and guilty.

“God, I surrender it all to you,” she said a soft prayer and dozed off. It clocked 3:00 am.

“Kilian…Kilian…Kilian…” She murmured in her sleep. She turned lazily in bed. It was a dream. Kilian stood at the other side of a river, the place was sacred and silent, extremely beautiful and deep with the green trees everywhere. He was smartly dressed in white, he looked angelic.

“Kilian!” Kate called out to him. Kilian saw her and immediately a gigantic smile popped out on his face. He stretched his hand to reach Kate’s but they couldn’t hold hands, the river was too wide.

“What do we do then?” Kate asked impatiently.

They stared at each other, not knowing what to do, Kilian without a second thought jumped into the speeding water of the river to swim towards his love.

“Nooo… Kilian” Kate cried out.

Kilian starts drowning, deep and deeper. Kate stretches her arm to hold his, but she’s far, she tries her best, she can reach his hand but can’t hold, so close, but not close enough.

“Kilian……hold on…don’t give up” she shouts at him.

“Deborah, Deborah!” A voice calls her, she feels her body shaking. It was her mother waking her up from the dream.

“It’s just a dream, my love,” she tells her. Kate hugs her mum panting so loud.

“Kilian, Kilian, I failed to save him” she cries bitterly.

“Relax, it’s just a dream” her mum joins her in bed and pampers her back to sleep, though it took almost forever.

The following day, after having her favourite meal cooked by her mother, she rushed to go check on Kilian. She just wanted to at least look at him, that would do her a lot.

“And you murderer, what do you think you’re doing here?” A thunder-voice welcomed her just as she pushed the hospital ward open. It was Kilian’s dad. Kate ran speechless, her mouth moved but no words came out, the word “murderer” stung her heart like a wasp.

“Out!” He roared back louder than a bomb blast.

Tears just left Kate’s eyes and dropped. This hurt her deeply, if only she had away, to explain to the world, that the vessel hit him by accident.

“Sir… Believe… Me… I…didn’t… Intend” she said between heavy sobs.

“I need you out now…out of this room…and out of my son’s life,” he told her with emphasis, he even stood up and opened for her the door.

“If anything happens to my son, I promise to make your life a living hell,” he said these words looking at Kilian who was silent and couldn’t move. Kate moved out, but the door slammed so loud that her heart skipped a bit. Life had become problematic. It hurt her deeply, she held her chest as if her heart was popping out.

“Why me oh…Lord?” She lamented. She staggered in the corridor, but her legs were too weak, she sat down and buried her face between her knees and chose to cry it out, besides, what else could she do?

As she let herself cry it out all, she felt a tap on her shoulder, it was Ella, Kate just jumped to her and the crying started again, she couldn’t say a word, the only language she could speak was that of tears.

Ella just gave out a scream.

“No… It can’t be… Nooo”

Kate realized that perhaps Ella thought Kilian had passed on. She told her he’s still fighting, she chose not to tell her why she was crying. She left immediately, she didn’t want to cause another Misunderstanding with Kilian’s dad. She ran off, as confusion, guilt, rejection and depression followed her. She wanted to stop being Kate, her life was too hard.

“Kilian, wake up! I might just die, if you don’t, please” she cried out.

She hated everything including her life too.

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