Memories of my mom

True love breeds trust. Trust breeds loyalty. Loyalty breeds commitment. Commitment breeds self-control. Self-control breeds marriage. Marriage breeds a lifetime partner, accompanied with an everlasting love.

Marriage is every woman’s dream, so they say. Therefore, who I’m I to deny it? I dreamt of marriage, ever since I turned sixteen. That is when I started imagining myself, together with my Mr. Right, walking down the aisle, in my pure snow white dress. I always thought of the day, I would meet that man, who would tell me that my beauty has swept him off his feet, and he just can’t help but tell me he loves me. Yes. I was just sixteen. With all those “big” dreams. Just in form three.

Studying in a single sex school helped me learn more about love, and about boys in general. I couldn’t help but admire my girlfriends who talked about their boyfriends back home. How sweet they were loved and treasured, and how eager they always were to get back home for holidays, just to get that one sweet little moment with their boys. Well, to me, it was a different case.

Raised by a single mother, together with other two siblings, (A boy Dan, who follows me, and a girl Daisy), I grew up not so much exposed to what real love consisted of. From school, back home for holidays, closed indoors, no neighbors around, all alone in our big fenced house that our father, who is currently married to another woman left for us. Our big fenced house. Our prison!

Mother made sure before she left for work, we had all that we would need for the day so that we could not get any excuse of moving out from the home premises. She was the strict type, raising us with a strong iron hand. A real African mom. When she thundered, the whole house engulfed with deep lightening.

Also Read: The Shadow love

We only got a chance to move out, along with her only on Sabbath. That’s the only time we got to interact with other people, and other kids of our age. Then some Sundays, that’s if she willed, she would take us out for swimming, and some nice lunch outside home. Nevertheless, the security around us was too strong…too strong to be called true.

My friend Lindsay had a guy…she talked of him more often and she promised me that I would meet him soon since she had managed, while in holidays to duplicate her parent’s visitor’s card, so that her boyfriend Mike could also have a copy for easy entrance into the school in case he came around. I admired Lindsay. She was a lucky girl. That’s what I thought.

One-day, during holidays, I decided to scheme up something that would let mom allow me move out of the house. I was not even in my reds but I waited until she left for work, and that’s when I called her and in deep sadness told her I had ‘sighted the moon’, but lo, I had no sanitary towels around.

“Use cotton.” She said without second thought.

“What?”

“I said, use cotton. I will buy you a pack on my way back. It won’t harm you if you use cotton just for a few hours.”

“But mother, how can I use that and where is that cotton?”

“You think your grandmother and all the older people used sanitary towels? Use your common sense.” She said and hanged up instantly. Not to lie, sometimes I felt like I hated my mother. Not now though…

“Diana, what are you thinking?” Lindsay asked, pulling me out of all that I had been meditating about… those were my thoughts always, even as I grew up. When I met Mike, oh my God, I even started dreaming having my own guy, just like Mike. But the years too were running steadily fast. With time, I finished high school.

I didn’t want to stay home for that long vacation as I waited to join the University. I wanted to find something to do and I thought, probably mom would allow me. To my shock, she told me I had Dan and Daisy to take care of in her absence.

“That’s a job too,” she told me

Hmm, that was mom for me. I prayed and wished I would score the best points so that I could study through government sponsorship. Egerton University was my dream university. I even fasted just for this to come true. Staying home with my siblings was fun. I occupied them by telling them different stories, and they loved it. We always had our breakfast and lunch on time. When mom returned, Dan would go and be with her. He loved her with all his heart. For Daisy and I, it was a different story.

“What the Lord has done for me, I cannot tell it all…” this was a song I loved to sing. Ever since I received my results, I couldn’t help but jump in excitement. Mom was not around by the time the results were released. I expected her call and just to prove my expectation right, she called.

“Resend your index number. I must have lost it.” She said and ended the call Asap. I texted her. Ten minutes later, she called. I expected her to congratulate me.

“What was really hard for you to score an A? Chemistry and Math are just as easy as Biology. Now see, A-! What about others who got the A plain? Aren’t they students like you?” she asked. I was as speechless as a grave.

“Diana, I’m talking to you… why not plain A?”

“I’m sorry mom. I thought I would score that…”

“And you want to do Medicine?”

“Yes mom.”

“From which university again?”

“Egerton…I’m sure I’ll get the sponsorship mom.”

“Nope. Even if it comes, you will not go for it. You will study at PU.”

To my illusion, this was something I had never expected. At least I thought she would tell me Pwani University, but why UU?

“It’s a punishment to you for scoring less than what I expected from you.” She added.

“Mom, UU is an Islamic university,” I confirmed.

“Of course yes.”

“Why that?”

“It’s a good and strict university. It will groom you right. With your bachelor in medicine, you will be good to go.”

“Mom!”

“Take care of the little ones. See you.”

Studying at Umma University had been something I least expected, but I had no option. As feeble as I was, even after I saw my name appearing on the government list a few weeks later with Egerton as my university, I felt sad. I hated mom more. I wished I had a better mom than her…she was hindering my rights to find my Mr. Right.