The ugly face of revenge

I was home, just in time only to find Lindsay standing by the doorway, with her arms akimbo. I guessed that could be, Kenny felt all was too much for him to handle and he decided to talk to his sister. I expected to get a blow on my face from her, but she still stared at me, with that beautiful friendship look.

“Dee, what have you done to yourself my dear? What have you done to my brother?” were the first words that came out of her lips. I knew I had done the most shameful thing in the world. I really felt so disgusted about myself.

“Please go to the hospital, and ask for PEP.”

“What? Why?”

“Do…come on…you have to. It’s for your own good.”

“What do you mean Lin? Is Johnny sick? Is he infected?” I asked, very confused. I knew PEP were tablets given to anyone who thought he or she had been exposed to an infected person.  Is this what she had meant by asking me what I had done to myself?

“You have answered yourself. Why didn’t you ask me why I left him? I was tired of using protection. Because before I went in for him, Kenny clearly cautioned me to be extra careful in my relationship with him…and since he had money, I was ready for it all. But time came, and I realized my life was at a great risk…so I broke up with him..and then for you, here you come..and bump into him. What have you done to yourself my dear girl?”

My legs grew weak, and I never sensed what would happen next, only to wake up in the hospital with Lindsay by my side. Remembering all that I had heard, and all that had happened, I felt I had no right to live.

“Oh, Dee…I can’t believe all this, my dear girl. Thank God, you are awake anyway. I’ll tell the doctors now to give you the tablets.” She said as she left me in the room. At this moment, I wanted to escape and go very far away, to where I had no idea. But remembering my little Angel, I decided to be strong. I couldn’t blame Johnny. I tempted him…and just when I had reached at his place, I didn’t wait for him to start the game. I started it…and he could have found it difficult to tell me that we had to protect ourselves…Maybe. Johnny was not this heartless… in a few minutes, Lindsay returned with a doc, who asked to first interview me about what happened, and how sure I was that I had met with an infected person.

“I’m sorry Doc. I deserve all this, please. Take the tablets back. I’ll be fine.” I said, feeling guilty about myself.

“No…we are all here to help you. What happened?” I narrated to them the whole ordeal, and how I came to learn that the man I had decided to use as my element of imparting revenge on the man I loved over something I had no evidence about was positive.

‘It will be well. PEP has helped at least 90% of those who take it instantly after learning that they were exposed to the virus. So here, take and I hope it helps.” The doc said Lindsay gave me a bottle of mineral water that I used to take the tablets.

“And young lady, stay positive. Through it all, be positive. Know that you are okay…and all is well. Return after three months we shall then carry out the test to confirm if PEP worked.”

For some time, Lindsay sat beside me, though both of us were silent…I wondered what she was thinking about, and why she was helping to this extent yet I had used her ex-boyfriend.

“You see Dee, I hate seeing my brother sad. He did nothing but love you. Why didn’t you talk to me about what was going on? I would have talked to him. I know he listens to me, always.”

“I’m sorry.”

Also Read: Broken marriage, Johnny’s view

“I read the letter he had written to you…since he just gave me a call, and by the time I came home, he was silent. He couldn’t afford to tell it to me all…and to my shock, through a broken voice, he told me you have been sleeping with Johnny. As for me, I knew it wasn’t for long. When did you guys start?”

“Today.”

“Thank God. I trust you. My bro thinks you have been sleeping with him for a long time. He is worried and feels betrayed. He thinks he is sick too but I have told him all is well with him.”

“What next, then? Have I lost him?”

“Not yet…I told him I know you well too much and that’s why I suggested that you take PEP. My brother has been happy with you, more than he was with Shila, even now that he has a son with her.”

Tears rolled out of my eyes. I missed Kenny. I wished he was with me at the moment. I wanted to hug him, and express how sorry I was that I had done that to him.

“And he asked me to tell you…ahhh…like he told me that he needs some space.”

“What! Lindsay I’m so sorry.”

“He told me you need to trust him okay? Yes. You have to. He is not ending things with you. He just wants to be alone for some time. I know he is scared that he is infected, but wait, after three months, all will be well with both of you. So we need to go back, you pack some staff of yours and leave with Suzie and the baby. He needs to be alone, and he wants to bring his son in too.”

‘No…”

“Yes. He wants to bond with his son. You should be happy because that will not keep him idle. He will not think about other women, because there aren’t any in his life, apart from you. He will be thinking about you. Once in a while, call him, and talk to him. Text him and check on him. You should make sure you are not out of his mind, though out of sight.”

“But will he forgive me?”

“Forgiveness takes time. Give him time to think about it all. He will decide. But you will not lose him at all…he loves you.”

“Lindsay…”

“I know…I know what you are going through baby girl but take heart. Let’s go home.”

“What of the bill payment?”

‘He gave me some money to take care of the bills, especially when I informed him about your passing out. You see, one sign he still cares.”

I didn’t know what I was going to tell mom upon returning home, but I promised myself to open up with her, in case things failed to go on well. Revenge! This is where it had finally brought me…