0
0
I stood at the back of the church, my heart heavy with a sorrow I never imagined I could feel. The familiar scent of roses filled the air, mingling with the soft hum of the saxophone playing in the background. It was the same song we once danced to in my living room, late one night when the world was asleep, and it felt like only the two of us existed.
But today, that melody carried a different weight, one that crushed my chest and left me gasping for breath. It wasn’t our song anymore; it was hers, and she was walking down the aisle towards someone else.
Her dress, white and flowing, reminded me of the foam on the ocean waves we used to watch together during our many trips to the beach. How many sunsets had we watched in comfortable silence, our fingers intertwined, as if the world beyond the horizon held no meaning without each other. The way the golden light had danced in her eyes was a sight that had become etched in my memory, a memory that now felt like a cruel joke.
The church was packed, filled with people who had come to witness what should have been the happiest day of her life. But for me, it was the day my world came crashing down. I had been the one who introduced her to my family, proudly bringing her home like a treasure I was eager to show off. My mother had adored her from the start, calling her the daughter she had always wanted. My father had smiled approvingly, seeing in her the perfect partner for their son.
We had shared so much, built a life together, or so I thought. The road trips to nowhere, the spontaneous stops at roadside diners where we laughed over greasy fries and milkshakes, and the nature walks where we’d lose ourselves in the beauty of the world around us. She had loved those moments. She had loved me, or at least I believed she did.
But all of that had changed the day she found out I had been seeing someone else. It hadn’t been serious, at least not to me, but to her, it was a betrayal that shattered the trust we had built. I had tried to explain, to justify my actions, but the hurt in her eyes silenced me. She had walked away, and I had let her go, thinking that time would heal the wounds, that she would come back.
She didn’t.
And now here I was, standing in the shadows of a church where she was promising her forever to another man. The man she was walking towards had the life I once dreamed of. The life I had thrown away for a moment of weakness.
As the ceremony progressed, my thoughts became a whirlwind of memories. I could still see the way her eyes lit up when she saw the ocean for the first time, the way she squealed in delight as we drove through winding mountain roads, her hand always reaching for mine, her laughter filling the car. Those were the moments I had taken for granted, assuming we would always have more time.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, a reminder of the messages I had ignored. My friends, concerned, had reached out, knowing this day would be hard for me. I had brushed them off, insisting I was fine. But as I watched her exchange vows with another man, I realized I had been lying to myself. I wasn’t fine. I stood up to take a photo of the moment but the shutter button became hard. My finger trembled.
I was broken.
I looked at her, at the radiant smile on her face, the way she looked at her groom with a love that was once mine. I could have been the one standing beside her, holding her hands, making promises of forever. But I had lost that chance. I had let it slip through my fingers, and now I was left with nothing but memories of a love that could have been.
The ceremony ended, and the newlyweds walked down the aisle together, hand in hand, as the guests showered them with rice and cheers. I slipped out quietly, unable to bear the sight of their happiness. I walked out into the bright afternoon sun, the warmth a stark contrast to the cold emptiness in my heart.
I found myself wandering towards the beach, the place where we had spent so many happy days. The waves crashed against the shore, a constant rhythm that had always brought me peace. But today, even the ocean couldn’t soothe the ache in my chest.
I sat down on the sand, my mind replaying the day she had discovered my betrayal. I had seen the hurt in her eyes, the tears that had fallen silently as she tried to process what I had done. She had asked me why, and I had struggled to find an answer. The truth was, I didn’t know why. I had been reckless, foolish, taking her love for granted because I believed it would always be there.
But love isn’t something to be taken for granted. It’s fragile, delicate, and once broken, it can’t always be mended.
I remembered the last time I had seen her before today. It had been a few weeks after our breakup. She had come to collect her things, and I had tried to talk to her, to make her see that I was sorry, that I wanted her back. But she had been resolute, her voice steady as she told me that she couldn’t trust me anymore. “You hurt me, Jimmy. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that.”
Those words had cut me deep, but I had tried to push them aside, convincing myself that she just needed time. But as the weeks turned into months, and the silence between us grew louder, I realized that time wasn’t going to fix what I had broken.
Now, sitting on the beach alone, I felt the weight of my mistakes. The sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the water, and I wondered if she was watching it too, perhaps holding her husband’s hand, sharing a moment that used to be ours.
I remembered the countless times we had watched the sun go down at old ferry above the Kilifi creek.
I could still see her, the way she would close her eyes and tilt her head back, letting the wind tousle her hair as she breathed in the salty air. It was a sight that had always made me smile, a simple moment that had meant everything.
But those moments were gone now, just like she was.
I picked up a pebble and threw it into the waves, watching as it sank beneath the surface, disappearing without a trace. I knew that was how she felt about me now, someone she had once loved, but who had let her down, who had caused her pain.
As the darkness settled in, I stood up and brushed the sand off my trousers. It was time to leave, to let go of the memories that were now just ghosts of a past that could never be resurrected.
I walked away from the beach, my steps heavy, each one pulling me further away from the life I had once imagined. The life that was now someone else’s reality.
I knew I had to move on, to find a way to heal, but I also knew that the wound would never fully close. There would always be a part of me that would ache when I thought of her, a part that would wonder what could have been if I had chosen differently.
But life doesn’t give second chances, and some paths, once taken, can never be retraced.
As I reached my car, I took one last look at the ocean, the place where we had shared so much. Then, with a heavy heart, I got in and drove away, leaving behind the memories of a love that was lost, but never forgotten.
